UPDATE:  nope…it’s gonna be out on 2010AUG10

UPDATE:  I hate to do this, but it’s gonna be 2010AUG11 or 2010AUG12 before the next update.  Just keep lurking.  I’ll be back with inspiration and information and other stuff.

Crazy, delicious food at Felix's
Photo: AP

Will the oil spill jobs be able to save delicious Gulf oysters for places like Felix’s (pictured here) in New Orleans and the Tens of Thousands of places like them in southeast Louisiana?

The answer is obviously:  I don’t know.  And nobody else does either.

But just to get a little more idea what we’re dealing with, and how the oil spill workers would be essential in cleaning the area where the oysters are cultivated, take a look at this map of the oyster beds:

Louisiana Oyster Beds (In Red)
Map Credit: Attribution Not Found

As you can see, the oyster beds are highlighted in red.  Now, there is oyster cultivation going on in all the states surrounding the Gulf of Mexico, but Louisiana – by several orders of magnitude – has the biggest and most active area of operation for oyster farming.

These waters are mainly saltwater wetlands taking up a good half of the coastline of Louisiana.  These areas were undoubtedly the hardest hit by spilled oil from the Deepwater Horizon BP oil disaster.

Fortunately, Louisiana has been a hot spot for oil spill job hiring, and there are a lot of ready and willing people to do the job of making these hardest hit coastal marshes clean again.

Now, how much work is required by the oil spill job holders?  Who knows?!?  There will be regular oil spill cleanup of contaminated beaches.  Barrier islands will also be getting the “standard service” by the oil spill jobbers.  But then what?

The oysters are filter-feeders.  They strain their food (mainly plankton) and nutrients directly out of the sea water.  An oyster will typically filter a little more than a gallon of water per hour.  That’s a lot for such a little, bitty creature!  They also concentrate whatever is in or dissolved in the water into their tissues.  Therein lies the main problem, and biggest challenge to the oil spill workers and their supervisors that direct their activities.

Even after the visible oil is cleaned from the ground and plants surrounding the coasts, the oysters are still going to be “filtering and concentrating” all nutrients and ALL CONTAMINANTS that pass through them.  How is the fact that oil dispersant (Corexit 9500) has broken the oil down into unnaturally small particles – and the dispersant’s own toxic-gunkicity.  Yuck city.

Maybe the miraculous microbial bacterial brew that’s “eating up all the oil” will come in and save the day.  Then, we’ll be back to “oysters on the half shell” lickity-split!  I’m not counting on that, though.  I’m counting on the dedication of people like yourself, getting hired for an oil spill job, and saving the day.  A small-scale Superman or Superwoman!

P.S.  I like my raw oysters with cocktail sauce that’s made with double the horseradish as usual. Fyre-sters!  Yum-city.

wor.dpr.ess

Just take a look at this video about an oil spill that happened 10 years ago in Brazil.  You’ll be able to draw some quick parallels between the plight there and the oil spill tragedy saga that’s just beginning here.

LATE BREAKING NEWS!  In case you haven’t heard already, the US Gov’t confirmed today that this oil spill was the biggest oil accident in history.  The busted well leaked about 5 million BARRELS.  There are 42 gallons in each barrel, so that’s about 210 MILLION gallons of leaked oil.

(For comparison, that 0.16% of the amount leaked oil in this video from Brazil.)

What’s going to happen to the Gulf of Mexico?  What’s going to happen to the Southeastern United States?  I don’t know.  What I do know, thought, is that the continued need for oil spill cleanup workers and general oil spill jobs will be pivotal in how this oil spill turns out.  If there are enough brains working on solutions and enough qualified, trained oil spill job holders to the necessary remediation work – we will win!  The Gulf will get clean.  The fishermen and shrimpers will go back to work.  The vacationers will come back to pile into the ocean.  Life will go back to normal.

Here’s the video.  It’s good:

I thank you for your continued interest in the BP oil spill jobs and the Gulf oil spill recovery.  It’s going to take ten of thousands of oil spill jobbers if not hundreds of thousands of train oil workers participating in oil spill employment to save the Gulf

wor.dpr.ess

South Pass, mouth of Mississippi River flowing into Gulf of Mexico - Still finding oil there - Still oil spill jobs there     Photo Credit: Washington Post

You’ve probably been hearing just like I have all week long about “how the oil slick in Gulf of Mexico is mysteriously vanishing.”

Well, I’m here to inform you that the BP oil spill problem is Faaaaar From Gone, and the Gulf oil spill jobs are Here To Stay!

Let’s break it down:

Oil Spill Jobs To Stay Because Spilled — BP Crude Is Still Here – All Over The Place…

Earlier this week you read headlines talking about how microbes – bacteria – in the Gulf of Mexico waters have been devouring the oil from the BP leak like mad.  And now that the busted well has had its temporary cap since July 15th, the oil-loving bugs have had a chance to eat it all up without dealing with more and more leaked oil from the uncontrolled gusher a mile below the water’s surface. Because of this, the oil is disappearing much faster than expected and it’s just like magic.

Well, here’s what’s true about what I just quoted.  The Gulf of Mexico is full of bacteria that eat oil.  Scientists say that the Gulf of Mexico has natural oil seepage coming straight from the bottom of the ocean all over the place.  They say that it’s been doing this for thousands of years and it continues today.  And this oil seepage is not related whatsoever to oil drilling that has gone on in the Gulf for the past 50 years or so.  So, yes, the microbes are out there consuming the oil.

What’s not true is that “the oil is gone!”

Take a look at this video from an Alabama news broadcast.  It shows you the truth about the oil – even when there’s no currently present heavy oil slick or tar balls washing ashore:

Do you see this?  Even though on this day there aren’t any thick oil slicks moving in and tar balls aren’t littering the beach – the oil is still there – And There Is A Lot Of It!

Who says the oil spill jobs are history?  I say that they’re here to stay!  Now, this may mean that some of the workers are directed to do more than the customary “cleaning of the beach” as we’ve seen so much of lately.  There’s will have to be new oil cleanup strategies developed, therefore, new oil spill cleanup job strategies.  And remember that there’s been heavy use of an oil dispersant.  It’s named in the video (and I’ve named it before on this website).  It’s called Corexit.  Our own EPA claims that Corexit is AT LEAST 4 TIMES MORE TOXIC THAN OIL.  Millions of gallons have been sprayed directly on the busted oil well leak by oil spill workers, and thousands of gallons have been dropped by aircraft on the oil slick floating on the surface of the Gulf by other oil spill job holders.  The Corexit is another problem that can only be fixed with huge amounts of oil spill jobs opening up.

Also, if the problem of oil contamination on the sandy beaches is found to be widespread like they showed on the video above, I can foresee Millions Of Tons Of Beach Sand Being Removed (taken out to sea and dumped or treated then dumped).  I can also foresee the Replacement Of Millions Of Tons Of Beach Sand. That is a crap load of oil spill jobs, people! Replacing beach sand from Louisiana to Florida.  That’s something comparable to building the Great Wall of China. Massive job.  Massive hiring for oil spill leak workers.  Massive investment of oil spill companies in the Gulf states.  Be on the lookout.

(Can anybody say HAZWOPER city?!?)

As Long As There Is A Gulf Of Mexico, There WILL Be Oil Spill Employment

Just this week the captain of a boat (Michael Frenette) that frequents Louisiana areas hit hard by oil said, and I quote, “There was more oil at South Pass Tuesday [July 27 2010] than I’ve seen since this whole thing started.  It was really discouraging.”

Today’s Final Word On Oil Spill Work In Gulf Coast States

Don’t Forget:  The Oil Is STILL Here.  Oil Spill Jobs Will Still Be Fixing The Problem.  Then, what about this past weeks contrary media comment:  I don’t know.  Over-enthusiastic wishful thinking, amateur speculation about the oil slicks being taken for real news, misinformation, disinformation, elections coming up in November – “we politicians have to act like we’re actually accomplishing something…”

It’s not a multiple-choice quiz, but any or all of the above possible reasons could be the cause of the Wrong Message about the oil spill and oil spill work being sent out earlier this week.

Stay Tuned!

wor.dpr.ess

BP Oil Spill Slick All Around Louisiana's Mississippi Delta

What is the next stage in the BP oil spill disaster recovery, and how will this impact the availability of new oil spill jobs?

Here is an educated guess, but first: what we do know?

1. We know that the out-of-control oil well has been sealed-up by oil job workers over the old Deepwater Horizon oil rig site ever since July 15th about 3:15 in the afternoon.  Since that time, it has held strong with no obvious leaks (unless there’s a cover-up going on.  I don’t think there is at this time.)

2. We know that the 5K foot deep well has a Temporary Cap.  This means that there will have to be more oil job work on permanently fixing and sealing the busted deep sea oil well.  There is also a HIGH PROBABILITY that the temporary cap may have to be removed – letting the oil well start spraying its toxic crude into the already damaged Gulf of Mexico.

3. Nobody knows if permanently sealing the oil well is going to work as planned.  Also, there is apprehension about removing the temporary cap because it could cause more problems, too…like a new oil leak.

4. There’s the possibility that bad storms, including hurricanes, could hamper work to make permanent the cap fixing the oil well.

Now, for theorizing sake, let’s say that BP’s ever-problematic oil well actually does stay shut. Let’s say that not another drop spills into the ocean. Then what?

The Oil Spill Disaster Job Outlook For August 2010

Here’s my prediction for August 2010 and the oil spill job situation:

I think now that there’s a bit of a breather here, a break in the excitement of tens of thousands of barrels of oil per day pouring out into the Gulf, that new oil leak work (or rather oil leak recovery work) attention is going to be turned to the most vulnerable coastal locations that have been damaged by the oil.

What places are most vulnerable?  Well, one big surprise is that is likely not to be the major touristy places that typically draw visitors in the millions each year for “sand and surf” type activities.  My educated guess is that the main focus will be…drum roll, please…The Wetlands.

Wetlands Oil Spill Remediation Jobs

I believe that Louisiana is going to be the main center of oil spill disaster wetland remediation, and that Louisiana oil spill employment (which has already been major) is going to get the biggest boost in the month of August.

You see, all around the mouth of the Mississippi River for many hundreds of square miles, there are wetlands.  Call them marshes, swamps, wetlands…whatever.  What you call them probably depends on what they look like when you’re there, but to a biologists they’re just wetlands.

These significantly oil damaged-marshes are all the way from Lake Pontchartrain all the way south to the mouth of the Mississippi River and all the way west to  St. Mary Parish.  I think that now that “the coast is clear” (maybe that’s not a good choice of words), there will be heavy emphasis placed on getting these places cleaned up.

Now, there are tourist destinations all through this region like Grand Isle, Louisiana, for example.  But Grand Isle, LA is not a Panama City Beach, FL nor a Pensacola, FL, nor even a Gulf Shores, AL.  It’s not as easy to get to, and it just doesn’t have the mega-crowd draw that these other beach towns do.  These places will be getting the lion’s share of new oil spill disaster jobs respective to the rest of the region.

As always, if you already have your HAZWOPER certification and/or your “Yellow Card” signifying you’ve received HAZWOPER training, you’re always more likely to have your pick of jobs.

wor.dpr.ess

Yeah, the “Hem Line Patrol” was on the beat protecting America’s eyes from “skin” back in the day.

Aaaaaahhhhggggg! Skin!!!!!!!  Worse than Godzilla, no doubt.

• So, what’s the difference between today’s Taliban and yesteryear’s “Hem Line Patrol?”

• The beard.

(I’ll be here all week.  Shows at 7 and 10.  Tickets 25% off in advance…uh…No.)

Anyway…here’s just a quickie for you. (A real post coming up likely tomorrow…the Internet’s been down all over Alabama today, so, not much I could do about filling your eyes with decent oil spill job content.)

I thought I’d give you this modern day vista of what one could see from the beach – especially during March and April of every year at “PCB.” This is where, as you know, the oil spill jobs and oil spill cleanup crews are work tirelessly to give you a decent place to spend your hard earned money on belly-button piercings, henna tattoos, Chinese-imported sand-dollar clocks, dried starfish paperweights, and airbrushed t-shirts — with a scene of people wearing airbrushed t-shirts, no less.

Here’s and “Cheers” to PCB and its oil spill cleanup companies!

Oil Leak Worker's SIMULATED View Looking Up From The Beach

This actually is a photo from Panama City Beach.  (It’s public domain if you’re wondering.)  I bet you’re kinda glad that Spring Break is over for this year if you’re heading down to get one of the new oil spill jobs on the coast right now.  That sort of activity going on beside you would be distracting, to say the least.

I know, I know.  This is borderline ridiculous, and downright shameful promotion.  It’s also a pitiful and unsuccessful attempt at an oil spill joke.

But you know what they say:

“Oils well that ends well.”

Sorry.  No more of that.

More real info and oil leak job news soon.

wor.dpr.ess

Let’s also say that, of all the places around the Gulf of Mexico that might interest you, you already know exactly where you would like to work that new oil spill job.

Is this you? Let’s say that where you want to enjoy the fruits of the new oil spill employment is good ol’ Panama City, Florida.  Here is a suggestion on how you might go about securing that very specific position with one of the numerous oil spill clean up companies working the blackish, brown stained sandy beaches.

Let’s go to Panama City Beach, FL!

THE BAD OLD DAYS ...long before beach oil spill clean up. This (questionably masculine) "Beach Policeman" is out measuring hem lines to make sure they don't violate "Decency Codes." You probably won't see this during your oil spill employment.
(Photo: 1922 - Public Domain)

Just so we’re clear:   I’m using the term “Panama City, FL” to refer to both Panama City Beach and Panama City, proper. But anybody who’s been going there since childhood (like myself) knows it’s just all lumped together and called Panama City or “PCB.”

How To Find Oil Spill Employment In Panama City, FL…Specifically

If you were living in PCB, and you wanted to get a job, what would you do?

Would you tar and feather yourself running around like a total loon until somebody saw you, said to himself, “I think that loony goon wants a job,” and hired you on the spot?

No, of course not.  (Unless it’s during Spring Break at PCB.)  But otherwise, any normal non-feathered local would do something…something you’ve probably already done a zillion times in your own town or city wherever you live right now when you wanted to get a job.

(Drum Roll)

You got a local newspaper.

I know.  I deserve the Noble Prize for biggest smarts in the world.

Yes, you go get your local newspaper, and you look in the classifieds, and you find some kind of job that’s appealing and pays right.

Easy as pie.

Well, you don’t have to be a native of Panama City Beach, Florida to do this.  You don’t even have to be a resident of Florida or even live in the (fabulous) Southeastern United States.  Just pull out your newfangled KOM-PEW-TER and slide on over to Panama City’s outstanding and award winning Panama City News Herald.  I now present:

The Panama City News Herald

(I don’t know if they’ve won awards – just made that up.  It sounded good at the time.)

Just go to their site, look for the Jobs section down on the right end of the link bar at the top of the page.

I have a WARNING about the jobs they have listed, though.

They are not just simply taking their local ads and posting them directly to the Internet – word-for-word – like a lot of newspapers do.  They are doing the lame-O thing like a lot of other newspapers do and are outsourcing their online jobs postings to Mons.ter DOT com (like my own local paper has started doing – shame on them).   This includes all would-be local oil spill jobs postings.

And, I truthfully and honestly think that Mons.ter DOT Com is NOT that good of a source for oil spill clean up companies in Panama City or anywhere else either.  I’ve been looking at their slim-pickins of oil spill employment-related posting since the beginning of the debacle, and it have NEVER been impressive.  It’s NEVER even been sorta good.

So, go ahead and check it out if you dare.  You may get lucky.  I just don’t understand why they don’t publish the same ads online that they have in the hard copy classifieds.  My own local daily newspaper does the same freakin’ thing!  You have to buy a hard copy newspaper to see one set of ads, and go online to see another set of ads.

Good luck in Panama City cleaning up that oil for pay.  If you want it bad enough, the perfect thing will come to you: just make sure all you thoughts are in the affirmative.  Now that’s enough woowoo for today.  Go get your oil leak job.

It’s about time, don’t you think?  I mean, somebody really needed to sock-it-to-’em for the greed and complacency-caused safety shortcomings on the doomed Deepwater Horizon and its famous blown and busted oil well head nearly a mile under the Gulf of Mexico’s once “sort of pristine” waters.  And I can think of nothing better to do than have Tony “The Birdman” Hayward just pack up his obligatory corporate executive severance package, put on his “Yellow and Green” bowler hat one more time, and hit the door.

White Cliffs Of Dover In County Kent, England     Photo Credit: NASA

Yeah, let’s kick him out…to his sorry ol’ mansion in Kent.  (You know, County Kent with the famous city of Canterbury and the “White Cliffs of Dover.”  BTW, I’ve seen those cliffs in person.  They’re quite spectacular.  Now back to the chastising…)

Speaking of Tony Hayward (a.k.a. The Birdman), it is currently rumored that his severance package will be the measly sum of just a little over £1000000 (pounds).  That $1.5 million dolla’ for us ‘mericans.

Yeah, that’ll show him who’s boss.  Yeah, that’ll make up for the hundreds of millions of gallons of oil spilled into the Gulf of Mexico.  Yeah, that’ll give great comfort to the fishermen, shrimpers, and tourist business owners of Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, and Texas who’ve lost not just a season’s income BUT a total way of life for the foreseeable future.

These oil spill opportunities to penalize Tony The Birdman Hayward are endless.  He can finally get back to his yachting and have his life back…all in the name of the iron fist of punishment!  (In fact, he’s gonna get a visit from The Pig Iron Fist O’ Punishment, no doubt! Pig iron’s the worst!! I don’t even wish the horrible Pig Iron on my worst enemy.)

It’s just awesome as all get out how the king of responsibility for the BP oil spill nightmare is getting his just desserts.

But you say, “Hey!  I like desserts, too.”

What you really meant was “Hayward!  Here is your dessert.”

(Uh.  Uh…you lost me.  Probably a little too random for the Sunday posting on the Oil Spill Jobs Info website.)

Moving along…this is gonna be like two posts in one.  Woohoo.  I said, ” Hey now.”

Overuse Of The Terms Pillory and Pilloried When Referring To BP’s Public Humiliating, Berating, Chastising Spectacle In The Media

OK.  Who else is tired of hearing about BP being pilloried or Tony Hayward being pilloried?  (Did you know that Tony Hayward is known by some as The Birdman?  I digress…)

What is going on with all the pillory references?  This is the only instance I’ve ever seen in my life where this particular little-used word has been resurrected over and over again for going on three months.

My theory:  one hack writer uses it – thinking him or herself just super-dee-duper clever – and then a whole pack of hack writer lemmings follow in-step and use the same term – all equally finding themselves quite clever – but they all pretty much just suck.

Let it be known that I stand proud and am honored to claim myself as a certified Hack Writer just like the aforementioned people who suck.

So, for all the “unsophisticates” out there that aren’t studied up on their mainstream-media-cutesie-tootsie-vocabulary-du-jour…and that aren’t quite sure what the devil a pillory is…

Like to hear it?  Here it go: 

It’s the wood and metal contraption usually placed prominently in public to bind up prisoners and/or convicts for public humiliation (and physical degradation.)  This practice regularly ended in (unsanctioned) death for the accused even though a pillory sentence typically was only a few hours long…in Europe.  (In Asia, historically, a pillory sentence has regularly been used as state execution. -end of pointless trivia section here-)

Modern Example Of An Ancient Pillory --- This girl's crime: not knowing the difference between reared and raised - It's Utterly Despicable And An Outrage!    Photo: Public Domain

I doubt quite seriously that any BP executive, not even The Birdman himself, is going to die from the “incessant pillorying.”

Well, At Least We Got The Oil Spill Jobs!

Right?  Who else is with me?  I know I’m saying it kinda tongue-in-cheek, but this has turned out to be a good thing for some folks disemployed by the recession / depression and for some other folks otherwise disenfranchised by life in general (i.e. rural-type, culturally “deep Southern” peoples of all skin colors living near the Gulf coast.)

For these good people, the Florida oil spill jobs, Alabama oil spill work, Mississippi oil spill employment, Louisiana oil spill cleanup, and Texas oil leak jobs are a big, fat “Hallelujah!” – a small (or big) silver lining in this unending oil spill disaster saga.

To end on a serious note:

I’m sorry to all of y’all that make a living proportional to the health of the Gulf of Mexico.  I’m really sorry.  I know it’s got to be bad.  I’m even here in Alabama with a lot of you, but the oil spill isn’t really affecting me.  Having to eat crappy, farm-raised frozen shrimp from Thailand is basically the extent of the Gulf oil spill’s personal effect on me.  That’s nothing compared to what y’all are going through.  I truly hope some miracles (even small ones) start pouring in and piling on real soon – how about right now?!  Really folks, I’m sorry this mess has happened, and I hope things look up real soon.  You’ve been through enough.  Time to get back to some kind of normal existence.

———

More posts for you soon:  less random – more informative.  Real Soon, Indeed.

wor.dpr.ess

Florida! #1 Oil Spill Job State Now And (especially) In The Future

It’s “Day 95″ of the BP oil spill tragedy / fiasco / horror / mess.  You can pick your adjective.  It makes no difference.  It’s just generally bad.  Unless you want some kind of oil spill employment.  Especially if you’re looking for an oil spill job in Florida.

Now, I know there is oil spill work going on in Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, and Alabama, but Florida is the state with the big bucks.  They have the massive state budget plus the most profit to lose from tourism declines, so, Florida oil spill jobs is the obvious conclusion you come to when you’re wondering where the continued oil work hotspots will be now that the active leak at the busted well head way out and 5000 feet under the Gulf of Mexico has stopped flowing for a few days now.

In case it slipped your mind, the oil was capped on July 15th.  At least, that’s what they say.  But BP isn’t always known for their forthrightness in getting accurate info to the public about the oil spill and the oil spill jobs like we would hope.  (Case in point: BP altering images of their control room.)

So, what’s the latest on the Florida oil spill job situation? I’ll give you a few facts…

Florida Oil Spill Jobs Fast Facts

•The majority of Florida oil spill jobs remain in the panhandle.

•HAZWOPER certification of workers that come into direct contact with the oil is STILL preferred.  That is to say that, the employers prefer that you already have the training prior to being hired.

•All current oil spill work personnel are showing starting wages that vary from $11.00 per hour up to $25.00 per hour.  Of course, there are going to be variations depending on the employer, but these are the general wages.  And since the oil is going to linger in the Gulf and on its beaches for a few decades (as we’ve seen with other oil spill disasters around the world), these positions will likely be open for years and years.

•General oil spill cleanup jobs for laborers are still being sought in Pensacola, FL, Destin, FL, Panama City, FL, Defuniak Springs, FL (not on coast but 35 miles due north of beach), Port St. Joe, FL, and Apalachicola, FL (just around the bend to the east of Port St. Joe, FL.)

•There’s even talk of support positions in the Miami, FL and Ft. Lauderdale, FL areas such as truck drivers needed for oil spill job support positions, but I unfortunately don’t have any specific information on where, how, and when.

•As you may have guessed, there will always be scientists on staff especially to deal with the oil mess.  So, there are also specialized positions opening up for oil spill chemists, oil spill lab assistants, and other oil spill scientists.

As greater and greater volumes and higher concentrations of the spilled oil spreads southward carried on the Loop Current through the Florida Straits to the Atlantic coast of Florida, you can expect to see these types of offerings showing up there, too.  This particular point is a problem unique to Florida’s place in the oil spill recovery.  They are a peninsula, surrounded on three sides by the ugly, toxic junk floating in to destroy lives.  They have more fronts to defend than do the other Gulf states.

wor.dpr.ess